From a very young age I resorted to masturbation, my thoughts were orientated towards sex and it even stopped me from concentrating at school. It grew to take enormous proportions, the older I got. During adolescence, I read a book written by Billy Graham, addressing the problems encountered in youth, and it was in this book that I realised masturbation was a sin – in the sense it cuts us off from God’s love.
Only, it was impossible for me to stop doing it. Much later, it opened the door to pornography. When I was 20yrs old, I was working nights and I stumbled across a private French channel airing an X-rated movie. It was my downfall. Little by little, I began watching X-rated movies whilst masturbating…
The arrival of the internet was a catastrophe. I wanted to go further and further and it never fully satisfied me: I even suggested that my wife join a sex club, thanks be to God she refused. I was involved in my parish, in charge of leading praise. I consulted a specialist, I also took part in a television program but it didn’t change anything. I was experiencing a spiritual death and had no idea how to turn back from the dead end; this lasted 25 years.
“Jesus liberated me !”
During this time, I tried psychology and psychiatry, but to no avail (it doesn’t always work…). Whilst surfing the internet, I read a Christian article addressing pornography, and it orientated me towards the program “The road to purity”. I thought it was in English, but I found that it existed in French too. I started the program and from the very first day, I was filled with joy! Jesus had liberated me!
Today, I am free from any sexual slavery and any form of impurity. It’s a process and the freedom is established uniquely with the grace of God, in daily communion with him.
Without this we can do nothing, only Jesus took our sin to the Cross. All we have to do is trust him because he has the power to set us free, which the world doesn’t. I can finally say: the person the Son frees will truly be free. I thank Jesus, who delivered me. I thank my pastor who started this work with me. I thank my mentor and the whole team of ‘To free captives’ whom God put on my path!
So, what do you think about it? Do want to be delivered from porn? Come and talk to us via the live chat’! (Free and anonymous listening service)On the same topic:
Prayer for deliverance from porn addiction, what good can it do?
Some people may doubt in it: so prayer for deliverance from porn, does it really work?
Prier pour être délivré du porno est efficace
There really are people who exist, who have been healed from porn, through prayer: you’ll find numerous testimonies just like Etienne’s, here on this website, attesting to exactly that. Catholics who are specialists in this area confirm it works too!
We should believe in the healing power of prayer, which isn’t “magic”: if God wants to instantly heal someone, he can do it. After all, he’s God and he can do what he likes! However, sometimes, he asks people to be accompanied by something extra, like a therapist for example, or to follow a programme. And that’s why praying for healing is not incompatible with other possible forms of healing!
Because prayer is necessary in every case. It can sometimes be the first step towards healing, and the origin of its path.
People can also use this prayer on behalf of someone close to them, experiencing this addiction.
Prayer is a continual spiritual support, for holding firm and passing the milestones.
Prayer can also be a support after finishing a programme, in not falling again. Never forget, without God we can do nothing, but with God, anything is possible!
“Without me, you can do nothing”
“Anything is possible for God”
So, what do you think about it? Come and talk to us via the live chat’! (Free and anonymous listening service):
Did you know? Porn has at least ten traps extremely difficult to get out of… a good reason to watch out for them, to avoid falling in!
Porn creates a “culture” of base sex and impulse. It’s a flourishing commerce, multiplying itself to infinity via today’s access to the internet (we’re talking about one third of all connections).
Porn reduces sexuality to genitals and orgasm (close-ups, sound effects, etc.), to animalistic practices, obscenities, aggressions. It reduces people to their genitals and turns them into objects for consumption.
Porn crushes the richness of sexuality and love. It destroys the intimacy of loving and joyful relationships. (And so differs entirely from eroticism).
Porn poisons the spirit with fantasies which invade the imagination.Like a computer virus, it paralyses any reflex of self-consideration or self-control.
Porn portrays the image of sexual parts (size XXL) and sexual performance, as the norm, or as an example to take, especially for young people who are at the important age of asking questions about their sexuality. Some become obsessed (+ consequences: acting on impulse, premature ejaculation, etc.); others go through revulsion or inhibition, performance anxiety. For children, porn is equivalent to mental rape, and can leave them traumatised.
Porn imprisons you in an endless spiral of masturbation, degradation, psychological slavery, shame, guilt, isolation, often depression…
Porn makes you “porn-dependent” or a “porn-addict”.It’s as tyrannical as alcohol or drugs (cocaine, heroin…). It finishes by RUINING the life, work, relationships, and the finances of its consumers.
Porn ignites your primary impulses. Why are we surprised at the dramatic increase in STIs? It pushes people towards crimes of a sexual nature: rape, paedophilia, incest. (So many rapists recreate in reality what they’ve seen in the porn they’ve been watching.)
Porn recreates the conditions of slavery, as much as for the consumers as for the “porn girls”.
Porn is a trap!
PORN = TRAP + DRUG + POISON + SLAVERY + HELL
So how can we make a stand against these pitfalls?
Outsmart them! Tear out the porn from your life. Delete images and internet links. Flee anything that leads you in that direction!
“If your right eye (pictures or films!) causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell”
– Gospel of Jesus Christ according to St. Matthew, chapter 5, verse 29
Ask the only true liberator, Jesus, to get you out! There is a prayer for deliverance from porn addiction on this site, which you can ask for online through the chat’ (anonymous and free discussion) :
Source: freely adapted from the brochure for teenagers Succeeding in your love and sexual life (“Réussir ta vie sentimentale et sexuelle“), by Brother Jean-Benoît Casterman, Editions des Béatitudes.
You want to get out of porn ? Here are some quick and practical tips to quit your addiction !
1. Talking about it. (it’s at least a start)
Talk about it with one of your relatives, your friends or anyone who’s kind with you, who will not judge you and will encourage you : because, alas, porn is truly an addiction which locks you up and makes you feel sad.
2. Getting some help (it’s essential)
It’s quite impossible to win this war by yourself : this is the reason why you need some help. You can find some specific help – as on this website- or a more regular one -with a priest’s help, for the spiritual aspects of this fight. You can too find help with a therapist, some of them know particularly well the subject, and will receive in consultations. Unfortunately, a lot of people face the same difficulties as you do. Don’t be afraid to knock at their door !
3. Confession use
This is for the spiritual side : if you’ve been baptized, leave your addiction into Jesus’ arms. Go and see the same priest for confession, each time you’re falling. It will be a good help ! Unlike family dishes, the more you go to confession, the less it wears out. And the more you receive God’s help to go through ! And if you’re not baptized, well, ask for baptism ! (Just come and talk with us on the Chat, you’ll see, being christian changes life!)
4. Ask for the sacrament of the sick.
And, why not ? After all, if you feel overwhelmed, unable to resist in front of this addiction ? Talk with your priest, knowing that you certainly could receive this sacrament discreetly. The gifts received to face your problem will be numerous.
5. Following a healing journey
Several of them exist and are very well made and are free. We strongly recommand the journey « Free to love »,that can be followed by e-mail (find out more)
6. Ask for a deliverance prayer
We offer one of them on this website ! Warning, this is not a magical formula, but it can help a lot, and, if God wants it, it can heal you too !
What about you ? Where are you now on that subject ? Come and talk with us on the « Live Chat » ! (Anonymous and free listening).
“The people are more easily enslaved with pornography, than with watchtowers”
– Alexandre Soljenitsyne
The word pornography comes from the Greek words pornê: prostitute and graphein: describe. Up until a century ago, pornography was limited to describing sexual encounters with prostitutes.
This has almost nothing in common with what we can find on the internet today: paedophilia, scatophiliac, bestiality, sadomasochism, rape etc. We cannot yet measure the fallout of the X-rated world, and the consequences this new drug has on the brain. It concerns perverseness and machoism towards women.
People imagine the life of “X-rated” stars to be the stuff of dreams, thinking they take pleasure in making hardcore films. This is entirely false, as Shelley Lubben, an american former actress testifies in her autobiography.
Besides, increasing numbers of health professionals are warning against the serious damage caused by porn in young people.
Etienne gives his amazing testimony, healed from pornography addiction… through a prayer!
I fell into the torments of pornography during adolescence. One day, rifling through my parents’ stuff, I found pornography and erotic magazines. These images had a weird effect on me: I was shocked by them but they excited my curiosity, they provided material for masturbation, which I had been indulging in for a few months. I also clearly felt the desire to go further, always searching for more intense images.
Growing up, I rooted my daily life in a virtual sexuality. But it wasn’t easy. In the 1980s, internet and smartphones didn’t exist. Pornography or erotic magazines weren’t that easy to buy. And you had to hide them, to avoid being caught. Then I met my wife during my studies. I quickly saw that our relationship was going to be serious. Once we’d decided to commit to each other for life, we naturally felt the need to ask for the Sacrament of Marriage.
I didn’t say anything to her about the addiction I was suffering from. I was ashamed about the whole situation. I didn’t dare talk to her about it because I was afraid she was going to think I was a pervert. Also, I thought that with her touch I would change and I could be delivered from this dependence. But I carried on using pornography.
There was a duplicity in my sex life: on one side, I was a good man, serious and responsible, and on the other I was a person on a constant quest for new pictures to satisfy my senses. From the year 2000, the internet started appearing in people’s houses. This arrival unfortunately marked a new step in my mess. From that point on, I could access virtual sex at home. I didn’t need to buy or hide magazines anymore. It accelerated my consummation and my addiction. I always needed more. And the final nail in the coffin was getting hold of my first smartphone: with that, I could take a window into this dark world with me, wherever I went. I didn’t even need to get in front of my computer anymore. I felt like I was able to build a virtual world into which I would dive, without having to confront reality.
The more I used “hardcore” pictures, the more I felt unsatisfied. I always needed more. The more I sank into pornography, the more I felt sad and unhappy. The images I saw were imprinted on my memory and often disgusted me. I realised it was harming me and in turn I was hurting my wife. I also realised that the image I had of women in general had been perverted. But I had the impression I was the only one suffering such a slavery. The consequences were numerous: shame, tiredness, a spiral of increasingly obscene images, weight gain, stress, damaged libido, all disturbing my married life.
I knew I had to stop. I was conscious of the fact this situation couldn’t go on. I envied everyone who had a normal life. I tried so many times to stop. But each attempt was a failure. I fell once again into this dark world. It was a nightmare for me to have been stuck in an addiction like this my whole life. The idea of growing old, still with this shortcoming, terrified me. This is why I wanted to close down this double life. And I still didn’t dare talk about it with my wife, who didn’t suspect a thing.
Even if I had faith, it didn’t occur to me to call on the Lord for help. In my head, God only called good people to himself, those who are perfect, with no ugly baggage. I thought the evil of pornography was too bad for God to be interested in me.
In April 2013, my wife made me read an article on a novena “Mary, undoer of knots”. At that time, we were facing serious professional concerns, and she suggested we offer this novena to Mary, for this intention. I accepted. Mary gave us so much more than what we asked for. A few days later, and without telling my wife, I decided to personally consecrate another novena to Mary, undoer of knots, for deliverance from my addiction. Internally, I called on Our Lady: “Mary, if you’re able help us with our work problems, then please help me again, and free me from pornography.”
From only the second day of the novena, I felt a peace: I no longer experienced a need to look at pornography websites. I had been healed of my dependence and I thanked Our Lady for saving me through asking her Son to help me.
I kept this joy a secret in my heart, without talking to my wife. Something had changed, but she didn’t know what it was all about. The vision I had of my wife and of women in general wasn’t the same… A verse from the Gospel of Saint John resonated in my heart: “The truth will set you free”. And I wished so much to rediscover this freedom in our couple.
Six months after being delivered from my addiction, I decided to speak to my wife. The revelation was a shock to her. She was hurt by it. She felt betrayed, retrospectively, and she was angry with me. Also, she blamed herself, for not having noticed anything and not having done anything to help me. She needed time to process it all. We offered it to the Lord in prayer. Being rooted in the Sacrament of Marriage enabled us to overcome this trial. Christ filled us with his peace. We often evoke the Gospel chosen for our wedding (Saint Matthew 7:24-27): “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock”.
We came through it, thanks to God. In fact, our relationship was strengthened by it. We gave testimony about what had happened to us. By being open to speaking about it, many people have since confided in us their past or present suffering, on the subject.
I also understood that the Lord came to save those who were lost, and my pride made me believe he couldn’t save sinners, or those who are ill or crippled. “But when he heard this, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.” (Gospel according to Saint Matthew 9:12-13)
So, what do you think about it? Do you want to try to pray to be delivered from this addiction? Come and talk to us via the live chat’! (Free and anonymous listening service)
In March 2019, in a long letter addressed to the youth (2), the Pope mentions Carlo at three different points, before he’d even officially been made a Blessed! Here Francis speaks about the “empty pleasure” the internet offers us:
I remind you of the good news we received as a gift on the morning of the resurrection: that in all the dark or painful situations that we mentioned, there is a way out. For example, it is true that the digital world can expose you to the risk of self-absorption, isolation and empty pleasure. But don’t forget that there are young people even there who show creativity and even genius. That was the case with the Venerable Carlo Acutis.
Carlo was well aware that the whole apparatus of communications, advertising and social networking can be used to lull us, to make us addicted to consumerism and buying the latest thing on the market, obsessed with our free time, caught up in negativity. Yet he knew how to use the new communications technology to transmit the Gospel, to communicate values and beauty.
Carlo didn’t fall into the trap. He saw that many young people, wanting to be different, really end up being like everyone else, running after whatever the powerful set before them with the mechanisms of consumerism and distraction. In this way they do not bring forth the gifts the Lord has given them; they do not offer the world those unique personal talents that God has given to each of them. As a result, Carlo said, “everyone is born as an original, but many people end up dying as photocopies”. Don’t let that happen to you!
And you, would you prefer to die as an original, or as a photocopy? What do you think about the “empty pleasure” you get from the internet? Come and talk to us using the chat’:
Listening to you and talking together? We, the volunteers, often get asked why we offer to speak directly with you. The answer is simple: every person is worthy of being listened to, understood, helped, encouraged.
Perhaps you’re not sure if you’re loved. Maybe you even blame yourself; you don’t think you’re worthy of love or attention, or fellowship or simply-speaking, a relationship with anyone anymore.
However, there is someone who loves you more than anything, who has desired you to be, since eternity. He knows the number of hairs on your head, he has written your name on the palm of his hand.
His name is God. Yes, I know, you’re going to say that maybe you don’t believe in him. But it doesn’t matter: at the very least, we are here for you, in a visible way, here at SOSPorn.org, to listen to you. It’s as simple as that.
We care of you!
If we are here, it’s because we are interested in you. We have compassion for you, whatever difficulties or suffering you are going through. It’s our role as Christians: never to make you feel guilty, but to listen, which comes back, in a way, to loving you.
We want to reach out to you. Not asking for anything in return. We don’t expect anything from you other than a simple dialogue, equal to equal. Human being to human being. To talk together. Perhaps finding the right words to describe the pain in your life. Because if you don’t talk to us, how can we listen?
And then, and only then. And only if you want to, we suggest turning towards Him, whom you might not believe in but who did however send us to you, here on this Internet page. It’s plain to see. And maybe it’ll give you some peace, who knows? In any case, it won’t cost you anything to try: dare to have this experience with us!
What is there to stop you from talking about your problems with someone who cares? Come and talk to us through the chat (anonymous and free listening service) :
During adolescence, Joseph fell into addictions little by little, video games, pornography… later, after failing an important exam, he cried out to God: “If you exist, show me you’re alive and that you’re at work!”.
To get over failing his exam, he spent some time apart, by himself. And at that point I thought to myself:
“Joseph, there are some things which aren’t quite right in your life, you’re not happy, you’re as hard as stone, your heart is all dried up, you haven’t found a reason for living, the flavour of life”
And in that moment, I cried out from my heart and I said to God:
“If you exist, you have to show me your presence in my life, you have to intervein and show me you’re alive, that you’re at work in the world”.
From that moment on, I started getting closer to God. One day, I went into a church, I had the desire in me to go to confession, I went to confession with a priest… For my penitence, the priest invited me to kneel before Jesus in the host exposed on the altar, and ask him to tell me how much he loves me. This moment was a huge turning point for me, I knelt down in front of the altar and I said to Jesus:
“Here I am Lord, if you want to show me your love, I’m here, available for You.”
Right then, I felt all the intensity of God’s love and mercy in my heart, I broke down, I burst into tears and since that moment, my life has never been the same…
And you, what do you think? Do you want to be an ex-porn addict too, delivered by Jesus from this addiction? Do you too want to receive help from heaven to get rid of this addiction? We are here to pray with you and ask Carlo Acutis for his intercession:
Why I stopped watching porn… and how, in doing so, I stopped contributing to the ugly sex industry.
Speech given at a TED event in Jaffa by Ran Gavrieli, a speaker specializing in “safe sex” topics. Viewed over 21 million times on Youtube!
Beware, he does not go into detail and some of his words that depict what is done to women in porn movies can be shocking!
* * *
I stopped watching porn for two reasons basically. The first one was that porn brought so much anger and violence into my private fantasies. And these were anger and violence that were not there originally to begin with. And I did not want it for me anymore. This was not me and, I decided to just put an end to it. Easier said than done — I got it later on.
Filmed prositution
The second reason was that I came to realize I think that only by watching porn I take part in creating a demand for filmed prostitution because that’s what porn really is:filmed prostitution.
Pornē stands for prostitute; graphia stands for documentation. And prostitution was nobody’s childhood dream, it is always a result of trouble and distress.
Now, I became aware of that gradually, when I was volunteering with men and women in prostitution, some of them victims of human traffic, serving aid in brothels, under the bridge and street corners. But you don’t really need to do all that in order to understand how this mechanism of porn and prostitution works.
Because porn is a genre – it’s not about erotica or healthy sexual communication. It is all about male domination of women, subordinance of women. Not only the sexual practice, but as a way of being, as a genderial hierarchy in this world.
If we would ask porn – if we were to ask porn, how does it define something as sexual? What qualifies, what defines something as sexual? Porn would laugh in our face. What defines sexual? Whatever men find arousing – men find it arousing to choke a woman – to have a brutal sex without one touch, hug, kiss, tender caress?
Well then it is sexual. It arouses men to see a woman or child cry? It is sexual. It arouses men to rape a woman; well, then it is sexual.
In every mainstream porn gallery on the web, we can find the rape category side by side with the humiliation category, abuse category, crime category and so on. And this is all as if this regular porn is not already filled with these motives. Even in its mildest version, the mildest version of porn, what porn is showing us like, I know, 80%, maybe 90% of the time is actually sex with no hands involved. This is not how we authentically desire.
Sorry, I’ll repeat that, I see your look. Sex with no hands involved. Okay.
If you and I are not going to give up watching porn, the next thing you do watch just you just notice that porn cameras have no interest in capturing any normal sensual activities such as petting, caressing, making out, touching, hugging, kissing. No.
What porn cameras are into is the penetration. So normally the composition will be a man and a woman, hopefully just one, okay. So, one man and one woman. His penis is inside her. Don’t be picky. It doesn’t matter where inside. Somewhere inside. His penis is somewhere inside her, okay? And in order not to block the camera for doing this extreme close up on the penetration, he’s standing with his hands behind his back most of the time.
And the woman is in this – uncomfortable position and she needs to handle the penis inside her without damaging the hair or make up or look down on her because that’s money invested and time invested in her. Without disturbing his aggressive movement and mainly without blocking the cameras. So the result is that we got two people having sex different shapes and acrobatics or something. But they’re having sex when the only body parts that actually touch each other are the penis and the part being penetrated. No hands involved.
Everything we look at invades us
Now I talked, I don’t know, 250-300 times a year, soldiers, students, pupils. No one has ever come up to me and say, “Ran, you know that part with sex with no hands thing that was my authentic desire, like when I was 11 or 12, I never wanted to kiss or touch anybody. I was not curious about that. It was all the penetration to begin with.” No one has ever said that — before porn. After porn…
In my private fantasies before watching porn, there was always a very strong narrative and the narrative was of sensuality and mutuality which means that I had always imagined what I would say to her? What would she possibly answer? What options do I have to respond?
In real life it never works like I planned, but it was super important in my mind in term of arousal, the build-up, the location, the setting, where will it be? What are the circumstances of me and her being all alone all of a sudden. How will this bodily inflaming between us will emerge step by step? It was super important. Before porn.
After making a habit out of porn, it conquers your mind and it invades your brain. And I lost my ability to imagine. Which means I found myself — and I won’t be too explicit, but trying to masturbate, just closing my eyes trying to fantasize desperately about something human and not making it because my head was bombarded with all of those images of women being violated and subordinated and forced into pretending they enjoyed diabolic sperm rituals.
So, this is pretty much the result. And we are all vulnerable to pornography. It’s not just young people and we should be very careful, I think, with not only what we put into our bodies in terms of food and nutrition, but with the nutrition of our mind. Because everything we watch invades us.
I’ll give you a short example from non-sexual areas.
I came the other night, I came back home and my beloved one was watching some cultural junk. She was watching a karaoke show audition, the one with chairs spinning. We don’t have a TV set back home, but only because it allows us to falsely present ourselves as deep and profound people. I’ve never heard of that.
Mastectomy who? Angelina? No, we don’t have a TV. We watch every cultural junk possible, okay? Not me, not her, we don’t contemplate about existence. We download stuff. And we download all cultural junk. So I am watching this 20 minutes karaoke show. And it was so boring and tedious. Two minutes talking, four minutes blabbering. I lost patience after 20 minutes and I went off to take a shower and the most interesting part was in the shower. Because what I found out there was myself in my most pathetic state ever. I’m going to share it with you.
I want to feel that you accept and love me, so I have to share my most pathetic moment and you have to accept it now.
I don’t know until I got over myself if it took me five, seven, ten minutes to realize that I am standing under the water in the shower pondering severely what would’ve been my song for the auditions? Deep and profound, mind you. I won’t be doing this Rihanna or Lady Gaga’s. I will be doing Mercedes Sosa’s Como Un Pájaro Libre. I’ll be doing a cover for Bob Dylan’s Blind Willie McTell. Ain’t that deep and profound?
I had to realize that I’m an idiot because I have no talent for music. More than that, I never wanted to be neither a musician nor a singer or songwriter. This was never a part of my inner world of wishes, okay? But I’m a human being. What can I do? I was watching that for 20 minutes. It entered my brain for a while.
So if we take this example and we just try to measure or estimate the impact of 20 minutes of watching no matter what, how it invades our mind and conquers our wantings and desires.
Let’s just try to imagine or I can share it with you orally – what is the impact of 20 minutes of watching porn once or twice a week, nothing unmoderated? It’s overtaking. And porn is in our household, whether we want it or not and I believe that it does not agree with our well-being. Because we have internet in the western world all over the place almost in every cellular phone now, we’ve got 90% of 12 year-olds watching porn on a regular basis. And it has both an addictive effect and a paralyzing effect.
It’s addictive, because it develops somewhat of a dependency on porn. And paralyzing part is because, mainly for young boys and men, porn is teaching us that as a man you are solely valued in sex by having a large penis and an eternal erection. According to porn, being a valuable sexual partner does not relate with being sensual, passionate, attentive, generous, well-coordinated. None of the above. It is all about large penis and eternal sunshine, which we don’t possess.
So boys become paralyzed. And if they don’t become paralyzed by watching porn, very often they turn into imitators of what they saw, which then means they become aggressors. Aggressors, even when emotion is involved. There is so much sexual abuse going on nowadays within the confines of what we perceive from the outside as beautiful teenage love stories, or healthy adult relationships. Because we don’t really talk about sex, we just see it all over the place, we don’t really talk about it.
So, what goes on in the confines of a certain room but these are all sexual mutations that happen.
If we talk about women, it’s not only that, but young girls and women get the message not only from hardcore porn but from a porn influenced main stream culture. Have you seen any Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga video clips or commercials? That’s porn with clothes on. So girls get this notion that if you want to be worthy of love, first and foremost you have to be worthy of sexual desire.
And now, the definition of sexual desire almost equals: be like a porn star. So I work in dozens and dozens of high schools and junior highs. In every single one of these schools I find girls that at a certain point agreed to be documented in an intimate situation because they wanted to please some guy that they had feelings for. And this guy misappropriated their trust. Always the same story. So he sells it on WhatsApp application or on the web, on the internet.
And normally nobody even addresses him in terms of moral. But it is always girls that suffer from shaming and mortification. They can change the school, they drop out normally. Change city, move to another city and still be haunted on social networks. They develop clinical depressions, severe eating disorders, as if we don’t have enough reasons in our culture to develop eating disorders.
They become so isolated socially. So some of them – like Amanda Todd, rest in peace — some of them actually commit suicide. Because they find no more value in life or in themselves.
So, porn is not only in our house. It is a capital case. It is not a minor phenomenon in our society. It is a question of life and death sometimes. It is mainly a question of life and death for the people who participate in porn, because porn is not an embodiment of freedom of speech, freedom of occupation, blah-blah. No. It’s an embodiment of sex-exploitation, working side-by-side with human traffic, raping, pimping, solicitation.
For every one porn star with a book contract or a production company, we’ve got hundreds of thousands of women and girls who do not survive out there. Literally, they just don’t make it. The sex industry just chews them up and spits them back into brothels, into hooking in the street, escorting, massage parlors with happy or unhappy ending depends who you ask. And I am not joking. This is the whole spectrum of prostitution.
So many of them do not even make it to the age of 50. I am talking about countries that the life expectancy is at 75, 76 years now. They don’t make it to the age of 50. Four reasons mainly: Drugs, STD – Sexually Transmitted Diseases, being murdered by a john, a pimp, a boyfriend and the fourth reason is suicide once again.
Because if you are a prostitute, on camera or off camera, you are in the situation that we can refer to as social death. We have all sat on the dinner table with people who probably consumed prostitution that have been to a brothel once, twice at least. We never sit down to the table with a prostitute. Not with a declared one. So that’s social death. It is not glamorous. Not at all.
And when I sit in the privacy of my room and watch porn, even without paying — No need to pay, it’s free. I hope you know that, if you’re still consuming. Whatever I am watching is creating a demand. And wherever there is a demand, there will be a supply. There is a correlation.
If I watch pornography of black, older women, somebody is going to go out and pimp black older women. Asian minors? Somebody is already trafficking Asian minors in order to film them. Israeli women, Palestinian women WASP, all American college girls. It’s a strong in the last few years, it’s a very upcoming category.
The scum of the Earth are already out there trying to solicit and prostitute these women on camera.
So, I stopped watching porn for my personal well-being, my intimate communication, my private erotic life, reclaiming control and responsibility over my mind.
But by doing that, I actually stopped contributing to this horrible sex industry. That’s a good thing to do, I believe. And I would really like to propose that notion of physically and emotionally-safe sex, emotionally-safe sex. It does not mean going back to be conservative or unliberated sexually. I am all for sexual freedom. It just means that we need to put genderial hierarchy aside, subordinance aside. And bring back in, let’s just say, laughter as a critical method for intimacy.
Two souls, two humans, two souls alone in private, can they please have a laugh together? Whether they know each other for a decade or for an hour. If two souls alone in a room do not manage to have a laugh together, what good could possibly grow there? Sexual and non-sexual. That’s emotionally safe sex.
I’ve got so many things I want to share with you but I feel like my time is almost up.
So I just really want to ask for us to speak about these issues more because I strongly feel that our history of silence never did us any good, because silence only perpetuates more silence, when talking normally gives birth to more talking, more sharing, more identification, more awareness, more change. A small change, we have a small humble life. But a real change, a true one, emotionally safer.
Thank you for listening.
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