7 ways porn affects you

The dangers of porn are all too little known by the general public, that’s why we can find ourselves stuck in a hellish and vicious cycle. Here are the top 7 ways in which porn affects you and your life.

PORN, what does it do to you?

In the moment, you feel excited, you’re looking at pictures and watching videos, and it’s enough for you to feel like masturbating. You feel sexual arousal and that’s exactly the aim of porn: to provoke sexual excitement and arouse pleasure through a visual stimulus. It stimulates your senses, which is one of the main reasons it produces such an effect in you. In addition to the arousal triggered by the images, pleasure is generated, by the viewing experience which is generally done in secret or as a solitary activity, so as not to be caught.

If this seems cool at first glance, it doesn’t come without consequences.

Porn exploits our sexual urges, which is an utter catastrophe for the brain.

Here’s what porn will trigger:

1) Super powerful addiction

The brain assimilates the viewing of pornographic images, to a sentiment of well-being. And so it will ask to be stimulated like this again, in order to have the same feeling of well-being.

It’s the same sort of thing for people who smoke or take drugs; they need regular doses in order to feel well.

However, the consumption of porn acts differently on the brain. As it quickly gets used to images, it demands a more regular and more hardcore consumption to find once again the pleasure and well-being it initially experienced.

2) Depression

Porn completely destroys the reward system. In our brain we have an inbuilt reward system.

It’s present in all mammals, including humans. Its function is to foster and encourage behaviours which are necessary to our survival.

The feeling of pleasure produced by viewing a pornographic image is the result of interacting chemicals. The reward circuit in the brain is activated and releases dopamine, which makes us feel the sensation of pleasure.

It seems logical to try and trigger this pleasure circuit again, but the line between well-being and addiction is quickly crossed.

The pleasure experienced is relatively subjective, fleeting, and can make you lose control of your behaviour and your body. This can drive you to act in a way you didn’t really choose to, as it transforms into dependency.

Scientists describe abnormal and strong explosions of reward and pleasure which subsequently establish an addiction in the brain, of an extremely strong nature. Consequently, this dependency creates numerous sexual dysfunctions impacting mental health and/or the sexual life. Known symptoms notably include depression and anxiety.

3) Modifying beauty standards

“That girl is so beautiful”, generally, masturbation happens after having seen a really beautiful actress. But the women we see every day out on the street aren’t all porn stars. The habit of watching women with a body shaped for porn modifies your reality. The physique presented in these types of films is not ordinary or common. The porn stars are chosen for particular physical characteristics, which don’t reflect reality in any way.

In everyday life, you may find that women tend to have a more normal physique, and it’s hard to find an ‘attractive girl’, but this is because your beauty prism has become distorted.

The dissatisfaction, linked to this fruitless pursuit of an out-of-the-ordinary physique, pushes you into a greater consumption of porn, when you find that reality is seemingly not beautiful enough for you.

4) Deep social apathy

Seduction is too much like hard work…

It’s much easier to sit in front of your screen and consume images. Pornography draws you into isolation and makes you close-in on yourself.

In this way we fall into deep social apathy, a laziness where we avoid making any effort.

5) Serious sexual problems

Consuming porn orientates us towards the search for instant pleasure. It’s easier to sit and watch something by yourself than to put time into a relationship concerning two of you. It becomes a functional sexuality which traps you into the pursuit of personal gratification.

In sex, what about the other person? By just looking for instant pleasure, sex involving another person can get a bit annoying and will lose all its meaning.

6) Reduced libido

Yes you heard me, arousal is actually reduced as your vision of reality is totally deformed.

Sexuality involving the two of you gets more and more deceiving. The brain has racked up numerous pictures and videos where everything seems to go well, but when you are with someone it’s not always the case. This leads to a lack of sexual arousal and trouble in achieving an erection.

And in seventh place…

7) Brain atrophy

1. 1. Slower brain activity
   2. Reduction in grey matter
   3. Dysfunctioning stress circuit of the brain
   4. Loss of concentration and shorter attention capacity
   5. Loss of motivation
   6. Increase in anxiety
   7. Memory loss
   8. Loss of neurones
   9. Weakening of impulse control circuits
   10. Damage to emotional regulation

 

Here’s how porn affects you. What do you think? If you want to get out of porn, and you’ve tried everything and you can’t manage it, you can pray here with an e-missionary, present online, who will ask the help of Carlo Acutis.

Going further:

• Prayer for deliverance from porn addiction, what good can it do?
• How to stop watching porn: 10 techniques
• What are the consequences of porn on your health ?

Porn is everywhere. Now that it’s often trivialised, it forces its stereotypes on the youth, or those even younger than that. However, instead of enabling access to a varied sexuality, pornography imprisons the individual in simplistic models, depriving them of the richness of their own fantasies.

As philosopher Michela Marzano states in her work ‘Alice in the world of porn’, according to its Greek etymology, the term pornography means “writing involving prostitutes”. Since the XVIII century, this word has been used to indicate explicit representations of sexual organs or sexual acts. However, pornography goes well beyond a representation, as it shows the sexual act in its entirety, whilst erasing all else that surrounds it. The sexual act is not shown to be the fruit of an encounter. “The person is reduced to their body and their body is viewed as an object without a will”, explains the philosopher. “They become something interchangeable. To the point where it’s no longer the person we desire but a body we want to use for our pleasure.” The sexual act is summarised as a physical display. By creating a caricature of a certain number of sexual behaviours, pornography strikes the spectator and makes a strong and durable impression on them. Numerous teenagers recognise being scarred by pornographic images. “I watched a few scenes from a porn film”, confides Gaëlle, 16 yrs. “I found the experience violent. I was shocked by certain images which stayed with me for a long time afterwards”.

Between seduction and repulsion

“The adolescent sees pornographic images as an anticipation of the genital sexuality they are in the midst of accessing and they’re driven to giving these images an excessive place”, highlights the psychoanalyst Gérard Bonnet in his work Defi à la pudeur (Defying Modesty). “We watched a cassette tape just for laughs”, shares Yannick, 17 yrs. “There was a group of us and it excited us.” Pornography creates a deep ambivalence in young people. They are on the one hand, seduced by these images, because they provide a strong sensational experience, and on the other hand, overwhelmed, because they acknowledge the scenarios are violent and based on dominance and possession. They find themselves in a deadlock, which sometimes brings them to totally separate out feelings, from sexuality.

Protect your sexuality

Despite the discourse of certain trendy libertarians, pornography does not allow one to access a sexuality that is free and fulfilling. It actually carries the risk of weakening the sexual imagination of a young adolescent. Because pornography doesn’t let you see sexuality in its wholeness. As Michela Marzano explains: « By wanting to show everything, pornography only deconstructs sexuality, by emptying it from the inside.” Sexuality is an energy meant for serving relationships. It is made from mystery, desire, fears and expectations but also from what is missing. It demands our person in its entirety because it is the union of body, heart and spirit/mind. It involves our five senses but also our imagination inhabited by extraordinary fantasies. Know this and protect it, refuse the pornographic invasion society is imposing on us.

And you, what do you think? Do you watch porn sometimes? Come and talk with us through the chat’!

Going further:

• What’s wrong with looking at pornography?
• Dos porn make it harder to meet people?
• What are the consequences of porn on your health ?

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Source: ‘He is Alive!’ February 2007.

How to stop watching porn: 10 techniques

Top 10 unfailing techniques to stop using porn.

“Just stop watching it!” someone has undoubtedly said this to you before, or maybe you often repeat it to yourself. As if it were simply a question of deciding… To stop watching porn is of course a choice. But it doesn’t happen by clicking your fingers and willpower alone is not enough.

So, just for you, here are the top 10 techniques to stop watching it. Each one of these techniques is a rung on the ladder helping you rediscover your freedom.

This article is written just as much for men as for women.

1. Talk about it

This may seem a little simplistic, but it’s the foundation stone. Freeing yourself from pornography begins by addressing the subject, giving words to what’s going on, the difficulties, the realisations, the suffering. Talking about it enables you to shine a light on a habit which is so often our dark little secret. By keeping it to yourself you risk developing a parallel life, and the habit of lying: hiding this part of your life can become an obsession. In short, talking about your pornography consumption will liberate you and put you in the right disposition for stopping.

2. Install blockers

If you want to radically increase your chances of stopping, and dramatically reduce the time you spend in front of porn, I recommend you put blockers in place, on all devices that can access the internet, whether it be your personal computer, professional computer, your smartphone, tablet… There are excellent systems that exist, like Covenant Eyes or Cold Turkey. These systems aren’t the whole solution but they will help you become habituated to not giving in to the smallest sexual urge.

3. Cultivate a healthy life-style

Sometimes porn erupts into our lives for one very simple reason: biology. Yes, our way of life has direct consequences on our consumption of pornography. Don’t be surprised that you watch porn if you’re often going to bed late, or if you don’t have a regular eating pattern, or you don’t do any sport. Taking care of yourself and your rhythm/style of life is the second key stone in structuring your liberty. Fix a sleep routine, take up a sport that you like doing, and start cooking more instead of giving in to fast food. Simply speaking: take back control of your daily life. These three ingredients will have an impact on your pornography consumption. They have an effect on your physical, psychological and emotional state and will make the task of controlling your urges easier.

I suggest starting with:

• Going to bed at 11pm
• Getting up at 7am
• Going running every day
• Stop snacking

Once these new habits are in place; physical tensions, frustrations and set-backs will have a less powerful effect on you, and will lead you into porn less easily.

4. Do some research

We aren’t the only ones questioning the place of porn in our life. A lot of people have trodden this path before you. Some have developed brilliant resources: whether they be researchers, experts, witnesses, ex-addicts… the internet is also a virtuous tool where you can easily find content to give you the intellectual and mental weapons you’ll need in facing your urges. Here are a few questions to help start your research: Do you know who is really hiding behind all the videos? What strings are being pulled in the pornography industry? How does its business model function? Just a few examples, but I’ll leave you to start your own research like any good internet surfer from the 21^st Century.

5. Identify patterns

You’ve probably already noticed that you watch porn at particular times of the day, in particular situations, after certain events… Maybe you’ve put into place a codified ritual with your own rules and ways of practicing. Every consumer has their own pattern. Are you aware of yours? Sometimes the reasons we watch porn aren’t clear. In any case, there are times we are more disposed to watching it. Write them in a journal, your battle book. Every day, look at what is « going on ». Firstly, note what you observe: places, times of day, and the context of each one of these relapses. Then, try and analyse what is happening: why did I desire to watch it?

6. Identify preconceived concepts

You might be saying to yourself, you’re done-for, there’s no exit door to this. That’s false. Your body has become used to porn. It can just as well become “un-used” to it. Do you believe what you’ve just read? Deep inside each one of us there are certain beliefs we need to identify and deconstruct. The objective of this step is to change the way you see your relationship with porn. Note down in your journal all the preconceived ideas you manage to identify within you. If you need, talk to a friend about it. This will help you to really put your finger on it.

I’ll give you a few examples:

• I’ll never be able to stop watching porn because I’m too weak
• I watch porn from time to time because it teaches me how to be better in bed
• I need porn to manage my sexual urges
• I have wounds that go too deep to be able to give up pornography
• I’ll never be able to get a girlfriend/boyfriend, I’m condemned to watching porn whenever I have a sexual urge
• Porn helps me to manage my negative emotions, I can’t give it up or I’ll have an episode or it’ll make me go through something that’s too painful
• The men of today have to watch porn otherwise they’re not virile
• I am dirty because I watch porn and I’m a woman

There are hundreds of these… It’s up to you to identify the ones in you.

7. Identify the wounds

You now understand the reasons we watch porn are sometimes difficult to explain. You’re successful in everything, you’re happy and fulfilled and yet you sometimes feel the irrepressible need to watch porn. Clearly, sometimes there are simple factors, of a biological nature, for example:

“I see an advert in the street, it awakens a sexual urge in me, I get home, I open my computer and I masturbate compulsively.”

• Read also : Hom to stop masturbating? 8 ways to break out of it!

This is when a relapse is easier to explain and understand. But, there are also underlying causes, linked to our personal history and the first few years of our life. We’re talking about emotional wounds which orientate us towards attitudes of self-protection when faced with suffering similar to that endured at the time of the wound. This could be a wound of rejection, abandonment, betrayal, injustice or humiliation. The vast majority of us are affected by these wounds. Pornography often intervenes as a painkiller or an emergency escape when the effects of these wounds make themselves too present or felt too much. I advise you to dig deeper by reading books and why not consider a therapist?

8. Consult a specialist

At this point, it’s important to be able to lean on the insight, the listening ear and the wisdom of a specialist. You can do a lot by yourself and I would even say it’s good to experience the solitude of the combat of getting rid of pornography, to draw as many solutions as possible from within you. But then, it becomes clear we can’t go very far without a companion on our journey, someone we can confide in. But after this, this friend is too involved in your life to help you make the following step.

For this you’ll need to see a professional; a man or woman who has experience in accompanying people towards freedom from pornography. This could be a psychologist, a sex therapist, an addiction doctor, a gynaecologist, anyone who is trained for it. This person will help you break your standard thought patterns, take a bit of distance, question certain interior beliefs, engage differently with the subject, undo certain knots…

• Read also : Is counseling a must for the porn addict?

9. Get out and see people

For some people, the consumption of pornography can go with a certain form of isolation or at least a preference for solitude. The reasons for this are diverse, shame, fear of how others perceive you, self-deprecating thoughts, more general fears… In all cases, I recommend you make the effort of reaching out to others and developing your social life, whether it’s through your professional network, university, sport, or any other sort of hobbies or activities. If you don’t have a network like this, it’s up to you to find an activity that you like and which enables you to meet people at the same time. Prolonged isolation and solitude create conditions which encourage relapse. Tell yourself as a general rule, when facing urgings to watch porn, you are stronger when you are not alone. Maybe it’s time for you to get a housemate if you live by yourself…

10. Take a cold shower

The ultimate wildcard to play, a major trump: the cold shower. In a critical emergency, anything goes. A cold shower is like a nuclear weapon. You can use it as an effective dissuasion device by making it a rule to have a cold shower if the rest isn’t working. It’ll have an instant vasoconstrictor effect in your body, meaning your blood vessels contract on contact with the cold water in an effort to preserve heat. This will instantaneously relieve any physical sexual tensions and evacuate stress. It’s your ultimate safe-guard, and it’s up to you how you use it…

Until next time, as the adventure continues…

If you need to talk about these techniques, we’re there for you via the chat (free and anonymous).

Bonus : ask for a deliverance prayer!

Warning, this is not a magical formula, but it can help a lot, and, if God wants it, it can heal you too!

If you want to receive help from heaven to get rid of this addiction, we are here to pray with you and ask Carlo Acutis for his intercession:

Going further:

• “I feel guilty, how do I break the cycle of guilt?”
• Porn: What’s the problem?
• Prayer for deliverance from porn addiction, what good can it do?

Have you smiled today? What if true sexuality wasn’t porn but a unifying relationship which makes you happy?

Good question. What is Porn? 

Pornography is “the brutal representation of manifestations of a sexual nature, with the deliberate intention of provoking sexual excitement in a destined audience”. Sexual excitement is just a fragment of our sexuality.

Sexuality is a wonder and it opens up the relational dimension of our nature. We find fulfilment through having a relationship with the other. Sex is also a function of the human person; like breathing, eating, drinking, walking, thinking. Each of these functions share the same two characteristics: firstly, they have power and drive us, secondly, they put us in contact with the world and other beings.

In my point of view, sexuality is meant to give us happiness. Porn leaves us unsatisfied. This is why the market uses it; it’s an inexhaustible source! As Jesus says to the Samaritan, when talking about the water we drink: “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” (Jn. 4:14)

Sexuality drives and animates us

Sexuality is a component of love. The urges we get from it, can be channelled, just as we can channel those from other bodily functions. Alas, porn makes us believe that we can satisfy impulses in a quick and easy way. But this is a deception.

It is possible to experience something truly amazing. All this depends on your desire of how you build your life. If we choose the beauty of a relationship, lived between two people, always discovering something new, giving of ourselves totally, we’ll find heaven.

Two dangers of pornography 

A danger of systematic porn use, is it’ll push aside the beautiful life experience being offered to us. The other danger is universally recognised: the trivialisation and exposing of intimacy, which destroys it, but which also degrades the boundaries every person has a right to. It renders imaginable and visible what we want to keep intimate and invisible. Through fantasy, it renders acts which are forbidden in reality, possible. What do we do then, when the line between reality and illusion is erased, due to all sorts of reasons in today’s life; drugs, the power of desire, or simply tiredness and frustration?

Inducing happiness hormones, without the happiness; stimulating desire, rather than experiencing a relationship in its fulness, what a tragedy…

Even so, it’s everywhere! No, porn is not true sexuality, but it is difficult to resist the spirit of human pleasure, unless we have the help of the Holy Spirit. He is the Miracle of Love.

“Apart from me you can do nothing!” John 15:5

Love is a true miracle. And pure hearts are happy (Mt. 5:8) because they will see God.

So, what do you think about it? Is porn true sexuality, for you? We’re here to listen and help, please don’t hesitate to talk to us via the chat (free and anonymous)

 

Going further:

• “My husband was miraculously cured through Carlo Acutis thanks to SOS Porn!”
• What does pornography do to marriages?
• Managing your sexuality: how and why?

Masturbation, what’s the problem? Last night, Văn Sinh N. left us this message on the contact page of SOSPorn:

“Help me overcome masturbation. Thank you so much.”

We can clearly see through this example: a man asking for help…

What is masturbation ?

Masturbation is the solitary pursuit of sexual pleasure through arousal of genital parts. It’s frequent at adolescence when sexual urges start appearing. It can be supported by fantasies, consumption of pornography, etc. There is always a link between porn and masturbation, even if this is not true of the opposite.

But what’s the problem?

The real problem with masturbating, is the pursuit of pleasure centred on ourselves, without a real relationship nor true tenderness.

This can provoke an obsession or a guilt which will poison your life!

Masturbation is also an escape from or over-compensation for certain frustrations: loneliness, lack of love, etc; It can hide a secret wound. But masturbation is not the solution. It’s the contrary, it imprisons us in the problem. It’s a quick escape… and for Christians it’s a sin because it cuts us off from the love of God, source of all love.

 

Two tendencies TO AVOID:

1. TRIVIALISING masturbation like it’s a necessary part of looking after your body or a normal and positive way of discovering your sexuality.

Masturbation is not harmless!

2. DRAMATISING masturbation like it’s the dirtiest and most shameful thing ever. No: our body is beautiful and pleasure is justified!

The problem is not then physical, but mental:

1. If it becomes a habit, masturbation weakens our personality (dependency). It affects our sense of fulfilment because of sexual obsession, the feeling of failure, or guilt.

2. Masturbating can also paralyse our romantic relationships through its pursuit of individual and climactic pleasure instead of living a true RELATIONSHIP based on love and shared pleasure. This can cause a partner to suffer deeply.

And you, what do you think? Come and talk about it with us through the live chat’ (anonymous and free discussion):

Going further:

• What’s wrong with masturbation ?
• Porn and masturbation, the same battle?
• Liberated from pornography by Carlo Acutis

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Source: response freely adapted for Sosporno.net/Sosporn.org from a page in the booklet for teenagers Succeed in your sentimental and sexual life, Brother Jean-Benoît Casterman, Editions des Beatitudes.

How can I get rid of porn images in my mind?

If you are obessed by pornographic images in your mind you can pray the deliverance prayer for the intercession of Carlo Acutis. Just recite it over and over again with all your heart.

If you are obessed by a person who has sent you pornographic photos or videos, you can try this strategy. Every time one of their impure images comes to your mind, use that as a call to pray for sender.

Don’t know how to pray? Nothing to worry about, just say:

“Jesus, I am praying to you for so and so (name the person if you know their name) because I want you to save her (or him)…!”

All you need to do is to simply pray for that person. In this way, instead of that person causing you to slip back, you can help Jesus to save them too. Therefore, this will pay you back, so to speak, for the time you have spent and at the same time help save that person from the evil clutches of pornographic images that has her (or him)  in its trap! If you practice this on a regular basis, the bad thoughts in your mind will rapidly quieten down!

First and foremost, deepen (or start) a personal prayer life and stay pure from day to day as best as you can. Get closer to Mary—also called Our Lady, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God (Mary many names)! Mary is the best untier of knots ever! In doing these simple things, you will start to chase away the pornographic images that obsess you!

You need to restore how you feel about femininity (or masculinity): Pray 10 Hail Marys (eventually an entire Rosary or 5 groups of 10 Hail Marys) every day. This is THE ideal means to begin reconstructing your life!

You can also pray the deliverance prayer without moderation!

Another remedy to pornography is learning to understand your feminine dignity (or your masculine virility) and how you desire to be loved. Persevere in this way and your temptations will be transformed into real love for others.

In the meantime, stay strong. Resist temptation and you will acquire virtues that will help you to re-create yourself just as God created you—with all the love He has for you—so that you can give that very same love to others, in all areas of your life. Trust in God’s love for you!

So now, what do you think? Do you want to pray for a person who has sent you impures images that you can’t get out of your mind? Do you want to pray to Mary with us? Then come and talk with us on our live chat today!

 

Going further:

• Liberated from pornography by Carlo Acutis
• How to stop watching porn: 10 techniques
• Prayer for deliverance from porn addiction, what good can it do?

Is counseling a must for the porn addict?

Question

I found out my husband was addicted to porn 3 years into our marriage – 13 years ago. He went to counseling, we went to counseling, he went to SA, I went to Sanon – He acted out off and on and struggled on his own. I thought we were free from it at least since 2006. I found out in March that he had been viewing again with the newly acquired Kindle from last year.

All along lying if I would ask… Even now he doesn’t really recognize or admit to the fact that this is hurtful to “us” –our marriage and our family — although he knows it is certainly wrong. He has “given up” everything including all electronics (again) but he “doesn’t need” help or anyone to tell him what to do, nor will he talk about it with me.

If I try to talk or have a reasonable discussion forget it – “I don’t want to talk about it!” is all I hear. We live in a tiny town with little resources for this and also have no way to afford counseling but I would LOVE to have help. Is there even any real hope of true help without the counseling, 12 step group or anything like that? Also, he will not really pray with me although he goes to Mass regularly and has gone to confession since he was found out by me back in March. Besides divine intervention is there any reason I should hope for things to really improve? Who can really know these answers?

Answer

by Dr Peter C. Kleponis*

While it is important to pray for healing, and God does sometimes deliver people from addiction, I don’t believe a person can truly recover from an addiction without participating in a comprehensive recovery program. There are several components needed for an effective recovery program, which I cover in the Integrity Restored Recovery Program. They are:

1. Self-knowledge and Commitment: Admitting one has an addiction, taking responsibility for it, and being fully committed to recovery. This also includes recognizing one’s triggers and developing strategies to avoid acting out.

2 Purifying Your Life: Removing all pornography and any source of pornography from one’s life, and making sure it doesn’t come back. It also includes using Internet filter and accountability systems, guarding one’s eyes, and respecting other people’s bodies.

3. Support and Accountability: Recovery comes through community. An addict needs to surround himself with others who understand the struggle, who will support him, and keep him accountable in recovery. He will do the same for them. This is where 12-step recovery groups are crucial. It is almost impossible to recover from an addiction alone.

4. Counseling: We need to look at the pornography use as the symptom. The real question is: “What is driving the need to compulsively view pornography?” Counseling can help an addict uncover and resolve the root causes of the addiction. This can lead to true healing and lasting sobriety. For couples, marital therapy is needed for healing the marriage.

5. Spiritual Plan: A healthy relationship with God is necessary for recovery. Here an addict realizes how deeply loved his is. He can receive God’s love, healing, mercy, compassion and forgiveness. All of this will give him the strength to persevere and succeed in recovery.

6. Education: As with any issue to overcome, education is necessary for recovery. An addict must understand the addiction and recovery proves. Many addicts are unaware of what healthy sexuality and intimacy are. Education in these areas is also necessary for healthy recovery.

7. Virtue: To fight a vice one must use virtue. The ultimate goal of recovery is not just sobriety, but transformation. This means allowing God to come into one’s life and transform him into a new creation. This happens through prayer and living a virtuous life. This can reinforce the progress one has made in recovery. It also leads to healed relationships.

In a situation like yours, you may need to give your husband an ultimatum. Either he gets help or you are leaving him. Often addicts need to realize how much they stand to lose to get them to commit to a recovery program. This is tough love. You must stand by your convictions.

If he is not willing to get help after receiving an ultimatum, then you will know that pornography is more important to him than his wife and kids. That would not be a healthy environment for you or your kids. Fortunately, when wives are serious about their ultimatums, husbands usually respond positively.

Do you too want to receive help from heaven to get rid of this addiction? We are here for you, via the chat to listen and answer your questions:

Going further:

• Wich path of recovery from porn addiction?
• Help! My husband recently disclosed his porn addiction to me.
• My husband watches porn: is it my fault?

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(1) Dr Peter Kleponis Ph.D. is a Licensed clinical psychotherapist. He’s a faithful Catholic who specializes in helping those struggling to be free of pornography.

The consequences of porn on your health… both mental and physical

We can’t lie to ourselves: the consequences of porn on our mental and physical health are both numerous and serious…

 

1. Loss of sexual performancee

According to neurobiologist Jean-Didier Vincent, author of The Devil and the Flesh (1) consumption of pornographic pictures produces too much dopamine, which then accumulates and leads to the desensitisation of our sensory receptors. It’s as if they stop responding so well in the wake of insisting so much, which in turn leads to the reduction of sexual performance during intercourse. The imagination, muddled by incessant and pervasive images, inhibits our experience of reality and real sexual interaction. In this way, porn has disastrous and destructive consequences on the sexual intimacy within a couple and people’s self-confidence.

2. For guys, it’s a bad example which degrades the image of woman (and vice versa)

Stripped of the sentiments of love, pornographic pictures and videos ridicule the true needs of a woman in the sexual domain. It’s something which is absolutely not taken into account in porn: the importance of preliminary caresses, and the need for gentleness and tenderness, eg. Boys whose sexual education is provided by X-rated films will treat their partners bluntly. In this way, pornography engenders sexual violence, sometimes escalating to rape: which is the complete opposite of a sexuality which is responsible for and respectful of the other.

3. For girls, it provokes an imitation game (and vice versa)

Pornographic websites traffic a vision of sexuality where only the performance counts, often embellishing sexual frolics for an audience. Girls are all too often persuaded they should be “sexy and docile” with their partners, and so start emptily searching to compete with “porn-stars”. They take on the role of the compliant “sex-friend” concerned about staying in the game!

They believe they have to multiply their sexual encounters, using increasingly racy positions – sadomasochism etc. also to be open to partner-swapping or similar risky behaviour.

Those who don’t react by treating men like a piece of meat, as porn would have it, find themselves trapped, frustrated in their need for female sensual pleasure. So they turn away from men, preferring women. In this situation we are so far away from understanding and learning the true gift of self, within respect of our bodies, which will enables us to offer what we have best, to the other. And if they remain heterosexual, a high number of young women simply don’t want to have sex anymore, as explained by Gynaecologist Pia de Reilhac, President of the National Federation of the Colleges of Medical Gynaecology, warning us of the influence of X-rated films on the sexual life of young adults (2):

“More and more young women are telling us they don’t experience pleasure with their partners. We are observing a great distress. Some of them confide in me saying, “I don’t want to have sex anymore”, “I don’t have pleasure anymore”, “it’s rubbish”, “they’re all the same”. These young women, who aren’t even 25yrs old, don’t like to make love with their partner, who tries to imitate porn actors.”

4. Porn, a habit which quickly becomes an addiction

In France, Psychoanalysts estimate the number of victims of sex addiction at 5%, including physical addiction to real sex, and addiction to pornography (3).

Porn follows the classic schema of any addiction, which is characterised by:

• requent impossibility to control a behaviour aiming to produce pleasure
• carrying out this behaviour despite knowing its negative consequences.

We are talking about addiction:

• when the need outweighs the desire, when having sensations replace having a relationship.
• when behaviours with the potential for pleasure become compulsive, and obtaining pleasure or relieving tension is made a priority.
• when passion generated by this addiction overwhelms reason.

Like any addiction, porn drives us fatally to increasingly “hardcore” practices. Easily accessed thanks to the availability of the internet, the spiral is infernal.

As in any addictive process, and the consumption of porn is no different, behaviour is modified progressively, following a series of steps:

Unlike drugs, porn addiction won’t result in an overdose causing immediate death, however, it will end up isolating the individual, driving them to have a sexual “burn-out” and even provoking clinical depression, which carries its own load of consequences on the physical and mental health of the person, including suicide, not to mention the direct effect on the people around them (violence).

So how can you break out of it?

• Porno : comment s’en sortir ? (la vidéo complète)

What do you think? We are here for you, via the chat to listen and answer your questions:

Going further:

• How does porn effect society ?
• What’s wrong with masturbation ?
• Porn: What’s the problem?

 

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Notes

(1) “La Chair et le Diable”, éditions Odile Jacob, Paris, France.

(2) Source : Le Parisien/Aujourd’hui en France (french newspaper) : Sexualité des jeunes adultes : “La pornographie fait des dégâts graves”

(3) Source : Santé Magazine (french magazine).

 

Porn and masturbation, are they the same battle? How can we wage this war? Here’s a little piece on the subject, submitted by Xavier.

 

Pornography and masturbation both function on the same principle as drugs. You’re obliged, little by little, to increase the strength of the doses in order to obtain the same effect as the previous consumption. And so, an addiction takes hold. We try to “ease” our conscience by telling ourselves we’re just responding to a natural urge, and that there’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s important to think about the origin of these sexual urges, in order to master them, and if we want to break out of being enslaved by them. Becoming aware that it’s a sin (or a misguided distraction, if you prefer, sin being something which cuts us off from the connection with God’s love), and even going to confession (if you’re baptised), is a great first step, but there’s a good chance it won’t be enough. The urges remain strong and will probably cause you to fall again in the face of temptation.

It is interesting to know that the sexual urge – which in the first place is a good thing because it was created by God – does not only have “sexual” origins, linked to needs or desires. It can also be generated by a disruption or imbalance in your life, intentional or unintentional. Becoming aware of this enables you to stop blaming yourself and help you to break free. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of some life disruptions: stress, frustration, tiredness, boredom, lack of self-confidence, and poor personal hygiene. Poor personal hygiene includes excessive consumption of fatty meats, alcohol, sweet treats which “excite” the body, as well as not taking care of your physicality, meaning not doing any sport or not taking the time to relax your body (for example, having a nice bath or massage).

In brief, you need a “healthy spirit in a healthy body”, or even better “the Holy Spirit in a holy body”. Making the decision to pray more and/or go to confession must be reinforced by practicing a sporting activity to evacuate stress, frustration… and so bodily urges too, and introduce a feeling of well-being into your body. You need to replace pornography with a physical activity and/or a hobby, rather than trying to erase it. To be more precise, you need to reduce the intensity of the urges and channel the energy into another specifically chosen activity (organised in advance, if possible), rather than wrestling to contain them. In this way we treat the roots of the problem and not the symptom, which is pornography.

Lastly, we must take into consideration that the context of the society in which we are evolving every day, is unfavourable to purity: adverts, films, ways of dressing, jokes and conversations arouse our urges. We cannot always avoid them, but there’s all the more reason to be extra careful and learn how to turn our eyes away.

What do you think? Do you find it difficult to control your urges? Come and talk about it with us in the live chat! :

 

Going further:

• “How and why, I stopped masturbating”
• What’s wrong with masturbation?
• How do I break the habit of masturbation?