Jessica Hariss was a porn addict : her testimony!

Do women struggle with porn too? Author and ex-porn addict Jessica Harris says women can succumb to a porn addiction just as easily as men do. She also warns parents: it’s not a matter of if your child will be exposed to porn, but when.

Jessica Harris is now the founder of Beggar’s Daughter, a ministry dedicated to walking with women who have an addiction to pornography. Telling her own story of porn addiction and struggle with lust, Jessica seeks to help other women find hope, healing, and grace. Jessica enjoys traveling and speaking on the topic of female lust addiction and how churches can minister to women who struggle. She resides just outside of Washington DC where she works as a teacher and serves on the Biblical counseling team in her church. She is the author of Love Done Right: Devos—A Journey From Lust into the Love of God.

• To go further: read his many articles about porn addiction on Covenanteyes.com

So, what do you think about what says ex-porn addict Jessica Harris? Come and talk to us via the live chat’! (Free and anonymous listening service)

And you, what do you think? Do you believe it’s possible to stop using porn? Do you too want to receive help from heaven to get rid of this addiction? We are here to pray with you and ask Carlo Acutis for his intercession:

Going further:

• Edgar’s testimony: “what if marriage could resolve my problem?”
• Ran Gavrieli: “Why I stopped watching porn” (vidéo)
• “My husband was miraculously cured through Carlo Acutis thanks to SOS Porn!”

Is counseling a must for the porn addict?

Question

I found out my husband was addicted to porn 3 years into our marriage – 13 years ago. He went to counseling, we went to counseling, he went to SA, I went to Sanon – He acted out off and on and struggled on his own. I thought we were free from it at least since 2006. I found out in March that he had been viewing again with the newly acquired Kindle from last year.

All along lying if I would ask… Even now he doesn’t really recognize or admit to the fact that this is hurtful to “us” –our marriage and our family — although he knows it is certainly wrong. He has “given up” everything including all electronics (again) but he “doesn’t need” help or anyone to tell him what to do, nor will he talk about it with me.

If I try to talk or have a reasonable discussion forget it – “I don’t want to talk about it!” is all I hear. We live in a tiny town with little resources for this and also have no way to afford counseling but I would LOVE to have help. Is there even any real hope of true help without the counseling, 12 step group or anything like that? Also, he will not really pray with me although he goes to Mass regularly and has gone to confession since he was found out by me back in March. Besides divine intervention is there any reason I should hope for things to really improve? Who can really know these answers?

Answer

by Dr Peter C. Kleponis*

While it is important to pray for healing, and God does sometimes deliver people from addiction, I don’t believe a person can truly recover from an addiction without participating in a comprehensive recovery program. There are several components needed for an effective recovery program, which I cover in the Integrity Restored Recovery Program. They are:

1. Self-knowledge and Commitment: Admitting one has an addiction, taking responsibility for it, and being fully committed to recovery. This also includes recognizing one’s triggers and developing strategies to avoid acting out.

2 Purifying Your Life: Removing all pornography and any source of pornography from one’s life, and making sure it doesn’t come back. It also includes using Internet filter and accountability systems, guarding one’s eyes, and respecting other people’s bodies.

3. Support and Accountability: Recovery comes through community. An addict needs to surround himself with others who understand the struggle, who will support him, and keep him accountable in recovery. He will do the same for them. This is where 12-step recovery groups are crucial. It is almost impossible to recover from an addiction alone.

4. Counseling: We need to look at the pornography use as the symptom. The real question is: “What is driving the need to compulsively view pornography?” Counseling can help an addict uncover and resolve the root causes of the addiction. This can lead to true healing and lasting sobriety. For couples, marital therapy is needed for healing the marriage.

5. Spiritual Plan: A healthy relationship with God is necessary for recovery. Here an addict realizes how deeply loved his is. He can receive God’s love, healing, mercy, compassion and forgiveness. All of this will give him the strength to persevere and succeed in recovery.

6. Education: As with any issue to overcome, education is necessary for recovery. An addict must understand the addiction and recovery proves. Many addicts are unaware of what healthy sexuality and intimacy are. Education in these areas is also necessary for healthy recovery.

7. Virtue: To fight a vice one must use virtue. The ultimate goal of recovery is not just sobriety, but transformation. This means allowing God to come into one’s life and transform him into a new creation. This happens through prayer and living a virtuous life. This can reinforce the progress one has made in recovery. It also leads to healed relationships.

In a situation like yours, you may need to give your husband an ultimatum. Either he gets help or you are leaving him. Often addicts need to realize how much they stand to lose to get them to commit to a recovery program. This is tough love. You must stand by your convictions.

If he is not willing to get help after receiving an ultimatum, then you will know that pornography is more important to him than his wife and kids. That would not be a healthy environment for you or your kids. Fortunately, when wives are serious about their ultimatums, husbands usually respond positively.

Do you too want to receive help from heaven to get rid of this addiction? We are here for you, via the chat to listen and answer your questions:

Going further:

• Wich path of recovery from porn addiction?
• Help! My husband recently disclosed his porn addiction to me.
• My husband watches porn: is it my fault?

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(1) Dr Peter Kleponis Ph.D. is a Licensed clinical psychotherapist. He’s a faithful Catholic who specializes in helping those struggling to be free of pornography.

Delivered from porn !??

From a very young age I resorted to masturbation, my thoughts were orientated towards sex and it even stopped me from concentrating at school. It grew to take enormous proportions, the older I got. During adolescence, I read a book written by Billy Graham, addressing the problems encountered in youth, and it was in this book that I realised masturbation was a sin – in the sense it cuts us off from God’s love.

Only, it was impossible for me to stop doing it. Much later, it opened the door to pornography. When I was 20yrs old, I was working nights and I stumbled across a private French channel airing an X-rated movie. It was my downfall. Little by little, I began watching X-rated movies whilst masturbating…

• Read also : Masturbation, what’s the problem?

A catastrophe

The arrival of the internet was a catastrophe. I wanted to go further and further and it never fully satisfied me: I even suggested that my wife join a sex club, thanks be to God she refused. I was involved in my parish, in charge of leading praise. I consulted a specialist, I also took part in a television program but it didn’t change anything. I was experiencing a spiritual death and had no idea how to turn back from the dead end; this lasted 25 years.

“Jesus liberated me !”

During this time, I tried psychology and psychiatry, but to no avail (it doesn’t always work…). Whilst surfing the internet, I read a Christian article addressing pornography, and it orientated me towards the program “The road to purity”. I thought it was in English, but I found that it existed in French too. I started the program and from the very first day, I was filled with joy! Jesus had liberated me!

Today, I am free from any sexual slavery and any form of impurity. It’s a process and the freedom is established uniquely with the grace of God, in daily communion with him.

Without this we can do nothing, only Jesus took our sin to the Cross. All we have to do is trust him because he has the power to set us free, which the world doesn’t. I can finally say: the person the Son frees will truly be free. I thank Jesus, who delivered me. I thank my pastor who started this work with me. I thank my mentor and the whole team of ‘To free captives’ whom God put on my path!

 

So, what do you think about it? Do want to be delivered from porn? Come and talk to us via the live chat’! (Free and anonymous listening service)On the same topic:

• “I was a porn addict, prayer healed me!”
• “Christ delivered me from pornography“
• Marcelin: “It’s possible to stop using porn”

To go further about porn addiction:

• How to stop watching porn: 10 techniques
• Deliverance prayer