We follow training and courses in so many different areas, but at school, sexuality is very often limited to its biological aspect, topped-up with a dose of civil education, and remains far from even a preliminary introduction to emotions and their role in it.

• Separating feelings from sexuality? A good idea?

By focussing only on the biological and pleasurable aspect of sexuality, we run the risk, in the first instance, of passing by something important, and secondly, emotionally hurting the people we meet. This means that what our body does, affects what’s on the inside, and vice versa. When we refer to the inside we mean the soul, for Christians, or more simply, the heart, feelings, spirit, psychology. It’s a case that no longer needs to be made, as doctors have now made a link between the unhappiness of a person and physical symptoms in the body.

• Set out in life without baggage

Not learning the rules of emotional bonding and sexuality is like setting off in life with baggage. It obliges us to learn things through experience, which carries its own risk of hurting people or getting hurt, getting caught in hidden traps, and suffering bad emotional surprises. All this in an increasingly egotistical world, which really doesn’t make the learning process easier.

• Choose your friends carefully

To deepen your understanding of sexuality and feelings involves choosing your companions on the road of life. This idea isn’t really spoken about very much anymore, but there are good and bad influences, especially when spending time close to people who are immature because they’re uninformed on these subjects. Without having at least an initial theoretical understanding, it’s hard to discern and differentiate between them.

• Sexuality to the detriment of emotions?

Lifestyles of today promote a form of unbridled sexuality. Look around you, it’s not clear this approach enables you to be emotionally fulfilled, what do you think? Being formed in the domain of your emotional life allows you to better nurture love, in the romantic sense, but also within friendships. It raises the chances of succeeding in this area, but of course we can never guarantee a 100% success rate when it involves human lives. Sexuality is not simply to enjoy, but it’s also to show the other person that we love them. Why show them you love them if you don’t love them, and you really just want pleasure instead? Is this situation completely clear for the other person, deep down?

• We’ve only got one life

With only one life on Earth, all the more reason to arm yourself to do things well. We invest so much in professional success, spending years studying for it, but what does it mean in terms of personal success? Better to put the right tools in your hand to achieve success in life, than learning from failure after years of marriage and children who’ll suffer the consequences. Of course, despite the failings of each of us in our lives, it always remains possible to turn, in prayer, to Jesus for help. But as we say; better prevention than a cure.

Talk to us about this article through the live chat’. Who knows, amongst the volunteers who are available, maybe you’ll come across the person who wrote it! They’re here for you, if you need help answering this question.

Going further:

• Managing your sexuality: how and why?
• Handle my urges? It’s impossible !
• Porn deconstructs sexuality and empties it from the inside

Managing your sexuality is a key element to living your emotional life to the full.

Every man and woman on this Earth has experienced the interior and intimate “force” called sexuality. A vital force which during certain moments of our life is incredibly powerful, like during adolescence, and at other times is weak, like during depression. Let’s learn a bit more about it.

Sexuality is not just sex!

Sexuality, as we might believe, is not linked exclusively to “sexual relations”, in and of themselves. It touches all that I am: body, mind, soul. Our sexuality expresses the beings that we are, in their masculinity and femininity. I’m not just a body that moves, I am a mind that thinks and reasons, and a spirit also, which animates and desires. Sexuality embraces each of these aspects.

Our body is not an object

The unity that exists between the spiritual and material components of the human person means that the way we manage our bodies has consequences on the spiritual part of us. If I « use » my body only as an instrument for pleasure, I will quickly see that in my soul there grows anxiety and a sense of emptiness. With time, I risk becoming a slave to my urges and will begin to live a sort of “schizophrenia”, a division within myself, between the emotional part and the sensory part. This will create a desert in me, and can even diminish my experience of pleasure.

Advice for managing your sexuality

We need to learn how to manage our sexuality, especially when our happiness is at stake. But how do we do this?

Firstly, in recognising the intimate connection between the interior and exterior expressions of myself; what I do with my body, can it hurt my mind?

Secondly, solitude and frustration are often things which encourage a “disordered” sexuality. We must train ourselves to build sincere and profound relationships with others.

Thirdly, by recognising the sacredness of our being, in respecting what I am, and what the other is.

Sexuality is a manifestation of love.

A well-managed sexuality fortifies our capacity to love, of respecting others, of giving value to each gesture expressing my masculine or feminine being. My sexuality will manifest itself through progressive steps; where every day I can learn to give myself to others and not ‘take advantage’ of them, or myself.

To learn how to manage your sexuality, you can turn towards specialists in the field, who will help you understand what true sexuality is and help you discover a new way of seeing your deepest nature.

Read also:

• How to channel your sexual desire with 7 decisions!
• Is porn true sexuality?

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