Masturbation
What’s wrong with masturbation?
Masturbation, is it bad? What’s wrong with doing it?
Isn’t it getting rid of temptations without dragging anyone else into sin?
Masturbation doesn’t “get rid of” temptations, any more than prostitution does. Both provide a temporary satisfaction of sexual desires; but our objective as Christians is not simply to eliminate lust, but to glorify God with our bodies.
The idea that masturbation can be used to decrease sensuality, is like saying a few drops of water can put out a housefire. On the contrary, masturbation incites lewd thoughts and drives a person to imagine they have the right – and the need – to satisfy them as soon as the desire arises.
Stop trivialising of your sexual needs
In order to understand why masturbation is bad, we have to take a step back and stop trivialising our sexual “needs”. It seems to be admissible in this day and age, and across the whole world, to satisfy every tiny desire we may have, instead of coming back to the original plan thought out by God.
Sexuality is meant to be a gift between husband and wife, helping to unify them and to give them children. When it’s taken out of this context, the gift is lost, and when it concerns masturbation, it ceases entirely to be a gift. The aim of eroticism is warped, because the centre of the sexual act becomes “me” and not “us”; and the person is practically driven to turning only towards themselves. The gift of sexuality is misused as a drab relaxation method, self-centred and void of life.
When people abuse their sexuality in this way, they may start trying to use it as a way to better their mood, relax, or to forget their loneliness. Masturbation becomes an escape route. It can ease things, but it’ll never fully satisfy them. They use the fantasies of the mind and pleasures of the body to run away from reality and its invitation to love. The objective of sexual activity has been reduced to simply receiving sexual pleasure, and is no longer an invitation to give ourselves in love. If men and women get used to using their lust in this way, why would it change suddenly once they’re married?
The husband or wife will simply continue, using their partner as a substitute for relieving their fantasies. The problem is that lust is exercised at the expense of the other, and so won’t be healed inside you.
Moreover, if the person is in the habit of using sex as a means to manage their stress, they may well continue turning towards all sorts of perversions (pornography, masturbation, infidelity, etc.) as remedies for the restraints associated with marriage. Instead of searching for a solution to their unhappiness, they stop at finding comfort in physical enjoyment.
So, marriage won’t liberate me from masturbation?
Getting married won’t resolve the problem because masturbation triggers disordered urges. The true joys of marriage – although being far superior – cannot satisfy perverted and twisted practices. Often, the person involved will more or less try and continue resisting the urge to masturbate by themselves, despite the sorrow and distress of their partner and to the detriment of their marriage.
Someone who finds it hard keeping their purity intact when they’re alone, will find it hard to stay pure with another. If they can’t master themselves, they’ll be incapable of giving themselves to their partner as they should, when the time comes. You can’t give what you don’t have. So, if you cannot control yourself, you cannot truly give yourself to another. And where there is no self-gift, there’s no love. Therefore, if you want to be able to truly love your partner, you must learn how to dominate your own self.
Even if this addiction seems impossible to get over, we know it’s possible! If you are finding it hard to stop masturbating, we are here to pray for you and with you. Don’t hesitate in talking to us via the chat, it’s anonymous and free:
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